Rite of Passage
Dear Friends,
I shared with several of you that I was going to do a Rite of Passage (from boyhood to manhood) for my 14-year-old son Tyler. I want to share with you how it went. It was probably one of the most emotional weeks in my life. I wrote the ceremony and every time I went to share it with a friend to get feedback, I sobbed. I am not sure what I was crying about nor am I sure I will ever know. It was a good cry though.
The day started out with having breakfast with his father, Bill Riedler, his stepmother Traci, Brian, my husband, Tyler and myself.
He was then taken out to a heavily wooded park outside of town. He had chosen several adults with whom he wanted to spend some time. So he walked with each one for about an hour. He had many miracles happen. Among them were three eagles flew over his head, he received many inspired messages from adults who loved him, and his school principal shared a prayer he read every morning. It was the St. Francis Pray of Assisi. This was the same prayer Tyler's grandmother (my mom) would say to herself. She and Tyler were very attached and he misses her.
After walking, I picked him up for his ceremony. Our talk on the way back was sacred and I will always cherish it.
The ceremony was held on a dock on an enchanted lake. There was fall chill in the air and a rain had gone before us to freshen our path. Flowers were in full bloom. Dusk was setting in. Indian flute music was playing to a dancing fire. Even Snoopy, Tyler's dog since he was four was there to greet him into manhood. Part of the ceremony included him sharing his intentions for the responsibility to the planet, guests blessing him, and non-monetray gifts were given, ie. poems were read, a box of "what I love about Tyler" notes filled out by the guests, an acorn of a mighty oak tree, hand made pouches and many others.
In all a mother's dreams, I could not have planned what all happened to him and me that day.
Things are different now in my house. Before I talk to my son now, I ask myself, "How would I say this to a man." There is a deeper, richer sense of respect in our household.
Many people during the ceremony and since have said to me, “I would have been a different person had my parents done this for me.” It makes me wonder.
Kathryn Kvols, author of Redirecting Children’s Behavior
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